Melanin

Melanin.

Is my skin not good enough for you?
Is my black almost too blue?
Is what your feeling really true?
I can't change myself to be something society wants.
Nor can I change what people have said to me in order to taunt.
My blood boils when I get disrespected.
But in reality I guess you can say that's what should be expected.
This country is filled with bitter and disgust.
With a bunch of false relationships and hearts filled with lust.
What I see in the mirror is a beautiful brown woman.
With a whole lot of sass and zen.
Oh yea and by the way, I stand tall and proud when I say my name is Kristen.
But off of that let's get back to my skin.
Buttery brown, mixed with sugar.
Looks so sweet that I'll even make a burglar put down his trigger.
Nothing will ever change the way I feel about myself.
All the negativity thrown at me will be put on a shelf.
I hope to see you around one day.
But next time think before you speak when you come my way.

Kristen Nicole

Monday Blues....😩

Monday Blues……..

Let’s face it, I have a love and hate relationship with Monday’s. On Monday’s we are all supposed to feel empowered because it is a fresh week! Today I completely feel the opposite of this being that I am feeling uninspired and like I need a vacation. Or maybe it is because I did not have my morning coffee like usual? Either way I wish I was able to turn the clock back and do this day all over again, but then I think about how tomorrow will be a totally different day with different emotions. With that being said here are some things I do in order to make my day feel better as it goes on. 

Affirm your day!

In the morning I have to affirm my day as much as possible and as much as I need. When this is done right in the morning I can shake off the negativity or unpleasant emotions that may arise throughout your day. I usually keep a notebook full of different quotes, sayings, and notes from sermons that I can look over and grab any inspiration and motivation I need in order to push through the day.

Isaiah 40:31 “Because I place my hope in the Lord my strength is renewed.”

Pray!

Prayer changes the course of your life! Learning to pray in the morning when I wake up has been a process for me. I sometimes forget that it needs to be done and start thinking about everything else the day may consist of. I’ve learned that putting everything else before prayer is not such a smart decision. Perhaps I may have had to go through a couple experiences that could’ve been handled differently if I did pray. I like to think of prayer as my armor to keep myself, family, and friends that I have prayed for from harm and danger.

2 Chronicles 16:11 “Look to the LORD and his strength; seek his face always.”

Invest in a Devotional Book……

The two devotional books I currently read from every morning are The Confident Woman Devotional written by Joyce Meyer and Jesus Calling written by Sarah Young. These both give me so much life in the morning and they both give confirmation to things I may be going through in my life. I like to call them my guidelines more than my devotionals because they really do keep me grounded and rooted in my calling and what my purpose is for my life. 

Tomorrow is a New Day!

I always remember that I have tomorrow to start over and start new, it will not always have to be on a Monday. I also have to keep in mind to not be so down on myself to the point where we are anxious for another day to start. The bible states in Philippians 4:6 “Be careful for nothing; but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known unto God.” We can only worry about the day that we have at hand.

The tips above are things I try to do on a daily basis. It is okay if you don’t want to choose all of them. Just know that if there is something else you think of that may help you then do it! I hope this helps someone who may be reading this….Have a blessed Monday!

Reverse Psychology

Be aware of the reverse psychology that the enemy tries to play on our minds. 

There was a dream I had about a particular person that did not like me very well. This person had wrote a book about why they didn't like me and their perspective of me. There were several personal pictures in the book of myself and others surrounded by me as if we were all being followed. As I was reading this  in the book store I felt betrayed and I had become angry. When it came time to confront the person they turned from human to something evil.

I felt  the Lord was shedding light  not only on that person, but myself as well. You see that was a sign that because this person didn't like me I had emotions of fear, insecurities, worry, and stress. It was a setup for the enemy to derail These were emotions that were weighing me down to where I was at a stand still in my life. They had taken control of my mind and I allowed them to mske decisions for me from my health to my education.

The enemy will place fear into our mind first and then it will start to trickle down to the important parts of the body that we need to put action to our dreams. Whether it's writing a book, planning events, or brainstorming ideas, we want to make sure our mind is clear of what the enemy wants it to be consumed by. If the enemy can cripple our minds first it will shut down everything else within our body and ends up making us stuck in the same place or places in our lives.

When a person is considered brain dead nothing within their bodies are working properly and they are equivalent to a vegetable. Our brains are valuable to our bodies, if we are brain dead we cannot function. We have to realize that our mind is the most critical part of what our purpose is on earth. If our mind is wrapped in fear and other toxic emotions our body will never get to the point of leaving our comfort zones. We continue to hold back on our gifts and what life God has for us to live. I look at it as another form of being brain dead.

We are not the ones to determine what God has placed us on the earth for, only HE can. The fact that this person had placed so many emotions within me was surprising. But God also allowed me to see  that it wasn't the person doing this, it was Satan working through this person in order to accomplish his plan. There are going to be people that come in our paths that are working specifically for the enemy. These people may not even be aware of this, but if you are aware of what's going on pray that enemy's plan will cease in your life as well as the person that the enemy is using life as well.

Mindset for Success

How do you define success? Do you think of success as having a lot of money? Maybe receiving a promotion that you've been trying to get for some time now? Or maybe having a family that you've always dreamed of? Even though all of these are great to have, success really doesn't happen until you change your MINDSET to be a winner. Below I am going to break down a few things that I have learned on the journey to "success".

1. Don't just go to church, learn to have a real relationship with God.

Going  to church is the least that we can do for God, but having a real relationship with God is when you'll get the instructions you need to gain success and life begins. When God gives you instructions to do things they're not just instructions to get you to have money. They are practically your guideline for your life as a whole.

2. Pay attention to what voice your listening to.

If you are always making decisions out of doubt and fear then you are not listening to the right voice. You are listening to the Devil himself. Everyday that you wake up God has and agenda for you and the Devil most certainly has an agenda for you. It is his job to get you off course and try to deceive you into making decisions that look good on the surface but underneath has a whole lot of problems and consequences that come with those choices.

3. Always put your best foot forward.

Whatever you do in life do it to the best ability because it teaches discipline for success. It can be very easy to become lazy and procrascinate until last minute. Last minute shouldn't be the way, you or I operate within this thing called life. Intentionally plan to do things and start using a calendar to make sure you can keep up with the plans you have. (I'm still practicing this part haha)

4. Love yourself.

You have to love yourself enough to encourage yourself. Learn how to talk to yourself in the mirror, in the car, ANYWHERE! Hug yourself, tell yourself that you love you, and tell yourself that you are beautiful every chance you get.  Learn yourself so that you know exactly what you want out of life. Once this occurs no one will be able to persuade decisions you have to make soley for yourself. God created you to be a leader not a follower.

5. You will not have a lot of friends when your on the right path.

Last, but not least you are not going to have a lot of friends when you are on the right path that God has you on. If you have a lot of friends you should be worried. I only say worried because if these "friends" aren't around when you are down and around only when you are up you should cut it quick. There are people that will be drawn to your light in the correct way, and also drawn to your light in the wrong way. Watch who you surround yourself with because that's what you will eventually become.

All of the tips above are only coming from true experience that I've had on my own journey that I wanted to share with you. There are things that  I am still trying to get down to a science on the list, but we are not perfect and never will be. The first step is to acknowledge what needs to be fixed and then give it to God. The road to success is a different journey for everyone which only means that your journey is ONLY YOUR JOURNEY. Isn't that an exciting thing to know!


"Try not to become a person of success, but rather try to become a person of value." -- Albert Einstein

Stay in your lane.

Psalms 119:1 - 1 Blessed are those whose ways are blameless, who walk according to the law of the LORD

God gave me a dream a long time ago about something that I was trying to do as a career. I thank him for giving me that dream because I would've went off track of the course that he has me on. Within the dream I was driving on a nice paved road when I decided to turn off onto a dirt road. It was sunny until I turned down that road and all of the sudden it started storming with the winds blowing and trees falling. I backed up off the road just before a tree hit my car and proceeded to get back on the paved road where the sun came back out again.

I feel this was God's way of telling me to stay in my lane and stop trying to put myself in a career that will put me "in a box". He showed me that I'm not an "in the box" person and that my gifts would take me far in the world if I just learn to trust in him. I believe there comes a point in everyone's life where they may not know what they want to do or they fall out of excitement about the path that they're on and maybe start doing other things outside of the lane God has them in.

You cannot be a follower in life because God made you to do a specific job or jobs for him that only he gave to you. He made everyone to be leaders in their own unique way. Look at how creative God is, when you look around you see people of all colors, shapes, and sizes. Why would you think that he didn't create you to do something out of the ordinary, something BIG, something EXTRORDANARY!!!

Now is the time to start thinking of ourselves the way that God sees us. Pay attention to what you follow and always remember to STAY IN YOUR LANE!

Lately.....

Hi Everyone! I just wanted to let you know what I have been up to lately! There is a true passion that I have found in Art again and I have been painting a lot lately. Most of the paintings I have been doing just to continue to practice and they have been getting a lot of attention. Below I will be posting pictures of various paintings that I have done. I will be blogging still because this is also something that I'm just as passionate about. See you soon!!

Selfie vs. Self Worth

Have you ever wanted to meet someone off of their selfie alone?

We are a generation where taking pictures of ourselves sometimes three or four times a day is normal. You have to wonder do people really value themselves as much as they are making us believe. We are a self-absorbed culture that can’t go without showing or speaking what our next moves may be. Recently I have cut back on taking selfies because honestly I felt like it was getting out of hand. I had to ask myself am I taking selfies in order to get recognition or am I taking them to help myself believe that I am truly beautiful.  Are these likes and comments making me feel more validated and better about myself? I wanted to cut all the noise out and help myself get a better understanding of wellllll myself!

I started to get addicted to this whole process of taking a picture making it look nice aka filters and then posting it to see how many likes or comments I can get within a couple minutes to an hour. Then sometimes it even started to be a way that I can have others say and tell me that I am beautiful on a day where I didn’t really feel it as much. I had to stop and think am I depending on these likes and comments in order to live life to the fullest? I told myself Oh no! Get it together!  Psychology it started to become more of a competition with myself and how I can top a selfie that I’ve done before. I didn’t want selfies to control my life anymore.

“Beauty begins the moment you decide to be yourself” – Coco Chanel"

Every now and then I see these selfies with OUTSTANDING quotes on them, but I wonder does the person really feel that way behind the camera and the filters. Majority of the time they probably do and then maybe some don’t, but thought it was fitting for the actual picture. Does the smile that the person have in the picture helping them to stop from crying? As a woman or a male we have to be able to tell ourselves that we are beautiful without posting a ton of pictures to remind ourselves of something we should already know. 

There is a time and place when pictures are important, but are a ton of selfies really that important to where you have no storage on your phone? For me personally no, and on this new journey I am learning to declutter unnecessary things within my life. Selfies are on the list of many things because I am learning to love myself without looking at myself through a picture. Now this is not a blog to knock anyone that loves to take pictures, but this is where God has me right now.  The fewer pictures I take the more time I have to use the gifts that that God gave me. Being beautiful comes from within, and the more you work on your inward the more the shine will come outward. Signing off now, but remember you are beautiful!

“3 Your beauty should not come from outward adornment, such as elaborate hairstyles and the wearing of gold jewelry or fine clothes.  

4 Rather, it should be that of your inner self, the unfading beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is of great worth in God’s sight.” 1 Peter 3:3-4 NIV

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Allow me to reintroduce myself!!!!

Hello everyone! My name is Kristen, but most people know me as Nikki. I wanted to introduce myself briefly so you know who exactly is behind these blog posts. God is my everything and I have decided to enlighten people on situations that I may have gone through or situations that happen daily and blog about it. I know there is someone out there that can relate to various things I may posts. You won't find a the same things being said on here all of the time so you won't ever get bored. Thank you for reading (if you are) and I appreciate the love and support. I hope this blog changes your view of life one post at a time. God bless and one love. 

Trusting the Enemy

I was watching an interview and the person being interviewed proceeded to talk about how we tend to trust our enemies more than trusting what should be right. The discussion started to make me think about how true that statement was. 

Why we are quick to trust what is going against us first before we trust what is for us? 

Definition Enemy:

• The definition of enemy means a person who is actively opposed or hostile to someone or something.

• A hostile nation or its armed forces or citizens,especially in time of war.

• A thing that harms or weakens something else.

It is within our human nature to despise the enemy, but also trust them at the same time. Enemies can be within your family, friends, church and maybe sometimes the person who you may be in a relationship with. There is always a deceiver when it comes to recognizing the enemy because our society glorifies the enemy and makes it look like he, she, or it is the right way to choose.

In my life there has been decisions I made in which I thought was the easiest decision for me at the time, but then turned out to have many consequences that came after the fact. There are many times that I have had enemies in the form of everything that you can think of, but I put my trust into them and didn’t realize how it was going to strip me of my character and sanity.

Definition of Trust

• Firm belief in the reliability, truth, ability, or strength of someone or something. “relations have to be built on trust”

• Confidence placed in a person by making that person the nominal owner of property to be held or used for the benefit of one or more others. 

You see how it says in the first part of the definition that “relations have to be built on trust”? Why would we want to build a relationship of trust with an enemy? It’s almost like us giving our money to a person who robs banks and trusting them to give us all the money back. 

When you put your trust into the enemy and start to model your life off of the choices regarding so, it will feel good at first. All of the sudden one day you don’t feel like yourself and start to feel ill. Slowly you’re emotional, mental, and physical state will start to break down and lead you to feel as if you are nothing.

When we eat organic food such as fruits and vegetables our bodies reacts in a positive manner because the food is not working against our body, but for our body. When we partake in eating processed foods our bodies do not react as well because those types of foods are working against our bodies. Our body is aware that we are not supposed to be eating such things, but once we continue our body becomes immune to it, while slowly breaking down at the same time. The same scenario goes for exercise because we know our body needs it, but we would rather watch TV on the couch and drain our brain with toxic television shows because it’s easier. 

“The thief does not come to except to steal, and to kill, and to destroy. I have come that they may have life, and that they may have it more abundantly.” John 10:10 

The enemy does not always make himself/herself known, and it most certainly does not make what consequences you are bringing to yourself be known. The enemy can sometimes be right inside of you without you recognizing the damage being done. It is a choice to make on whether you will start to pay attention to who you are trusting and who you should not. Stop trusting the enemy and start fighting the enemy away from your heart, mind, and body.

Reservations

Why do I not make reservations for things in my life that are good for me, when I shouldn't be having reservations about things that could be detrimental to my future? Hi! My name is Kristen and you may also know me by Nikki. I tend to have reservations for a lot of things that can be a benefit to my future, but I really don't mean to! No really, I don't even notice that I am doing this half of the time.

Have you ever asked yourself why you may be cautious about different things when God has spoken loud and clear to you already. He has told you that there is something he wants you to do, but you ignore every sign and confirmation that he sends your way! Yet when something isn't maybe the best decision you tend to dive into those situations faster. Yes this is me alllllll the time.

Picture this scenario......you called and made reservations for a restaurant for you and a date. You show up before your date gets there so you can get the table on time. You get to the table and you start patiently waiting for him/her to arrive. You start to realize time has gone by and there is no site of your date. Finally you see your date walking into the restaurant, but they decide to go to the bathroom first before they come to the table. Then you see them come out of the bathroom and go to talk to someone else and your waiving trying to get their attention, but they're not seeing you. So you wait as long as you possibly can while your getting annoyed at the same time. Wouldn't it be an awful feeling if your date doesn't even realize you are there, but you've taken the time to make reservations and took time out to sit and wait for them!

Imagine God feeling that way about us? 
He's sitting waiting for us to come to the table and he's trying to get our attention, but we ignore him because we want to make pit stops and everything else before get to him. If I'm sitting and waiting for someone for a long time eventually I would leave and never want to speak to that person again. The good part about this is that God is going to continue to wait for us to recognize that he's there.

 He's going to constantly send signs and wonders our way until he gets our attention, but hopefully it's not too late. God is waiting for you to sit at the table with him so he can go over  his blueprint he has for your life, but he's only going to sit there as long as you want him to.  Sometimes we are waiting for the wrong situations to change when we are missing out on what God is really trying to tell us. Don't lose time making reservations for the wrong things and not making reservations for the right things in your life. Once the right reservations are made everything will come on time and will meet you right where you are at.

Do we have the power to fight anymore?

The song Fight the Power by Public Enemy came out in the year 1989 (The year I was born) where the culture of Hip Hop was so rich and and vibrant. Our culture was not taking no crap from anyone as they say it and we were willing to stand for what we believe in and who we are. This has me thinking, where did all of that stamina go within my people and why have "we" as in black people have settled to be the laughing stock of the country? Let me start by saying that I am not, by no means trying to down any culture or race, but I only speak from the only view I know and that is of being a black woman. I was taught growing up that I will always have people not like me and sometimes they will not like me simply because of my color. As I've grown older I am starting to understand that concept more than ever. The same social frustrations that were happening back in 1989 is happening today at this very moment. There are politicians that are in the race to be the presidential candidate giving false hope and dreams to our community. As Dick Gregory stated "Political promises are much like marriage vows. They are made at the beginning of the relationship between candidate and voter, but are quickly forgotten." We tend to get even more frustrated as the race starts to look like a circus with much confusion, but these candidates are still wanting our vote whether they do anything for our community or not.
Being a black woman in America is very tough these days. We seem to be fighting a reputation that has been based off of opinions, lies, and a handful that has been able to make it to a national platform that isn't always the best. Don't get me wrong there are A LOT of black women who are great role models and doing things for their communities. It does not mean that I can fall back and say to myself that they can make an imprint for me. I choose to also make an imprint on this earth as well no matter how many good role models their are for black women. I still do not believe that the age group that I'm within or any age in general gets enough credit for what we bring to America. We have style that is taken from others, grace that is tested on a daily basis, and an aura that cannot be replaced by anyone else. We are cut from a strong clothe that is priceless. Now some people have an issue with me saying that some of the people that represent my culture and heritage on television are not as good and they pretty much suck! I only say this because I care about how my people are represented EVERYWHERE!
Our people should get back to business and find that fire to light within themselves to get to work! There is no excitement anymore because life seems to get in the way and once you watch the news you pretty much become depressed. There is so much work to be done within the world and it is out there waiting. The concept of working together and looking out for each other needs to come back into play because people are for themselves only. There needs to be more HEALTHY marriages that take place within the black community, more parents that take control of how their kids operate within the school system, and take back full control of our broken communities to start building them back up to what they can and will be.
Do we even have the power to fight anymore? Or is the power within others hands? These are questions that ask myself on a daily basis. Our human nature is to look out for ourselves, but God teaches us that we are to give without expecting anything in return. This concept can be so hard to go by because you and I may have had so many things taken away from us that we are trying to hold on to the little bit that we have left. In order to get recognized in a positive light there needs to be more giving that takes place. More giving that comes from our hearts, and removing the selfishness. Hopefully this a dream that I can start turning more into a reality, but I can't do it without your help.

But if God got us, we gon' be ALRIGHT!! *Kendrick Lamar voice*