Sunday, October 1, 2017

Stop the Violence, no more silence.



Hola Everyone! Today is October 1st and it’s officially my birthday month! It is also Domestic Violence Awareness Month which is an issue I’ve been through before. With that being said I decided to start this month off by sharing my story of Domestic Violence Abuse. This story is not a story that I try to use to make people look at me with oohs and ahhs, but it is a reminder of how God’s hand has been placed upon my life in order to protect me.

“Domestic Violence Awareness Month (DVAM) evolved from the "Day of Unity" held in October 1981 and conceived by the National Coalition Against Domestic Violence.” - www.nrcdv.org

I was 19 years old when I met this guy we’re going to call Joseph. Joseph had been introduced to me through a friend and he seemed pretty cool. We had started to take a liking to each other so I figured that since I was single we could start a friendship that could have led to dating. In the beginning there were  no red flags or signs of anything wrong. I was trusting the opinion of my friend so I was oblivious to what was to come.

“I was trusting the opinion of my friend so I was oblivious to what was to come.“

It had only been a couple of weeks into knowing Joseph and looking back now, there were signs that lead to something deep and dark that  was going on with this person. When we went on dates we never went anywhere he lived. He always seemed paranoid and looking over his shoulder as well as into his surroundings a little bit further than usual. He also didn’t talk about his parents or lived with them at the time being.  Little did I know I had walked right into a trap. It was not a good situation he had going on prior to meeting me.

“ Little did I know I had walked right into a trap.”

Regardless I went along with having “fun” and continued to talk to him. One particular night it turned for the worst. I had went out with some friends earlier that day and my phone had went dead.  I figured since I wasn’t able to talk to him all day I would just stop by anyway unannounced. When I arrived to his house he didn’t seem pleased and was upset,  but I didn’t think nothing of it. So he proceeds to say let’s go to his room and hang out.

Once again, me not thinking I went and followed him up the stairs because I knew he couldn’t be possibly mad at me. When we got to the room I was thirsty so I put my purse and phone down and went downstairs and grabbed a cup of juice. When I came back upstairs he had closed the door. As I was drinking my juice he asked me who told me I could go get a cup of juice? I just looked and laughed at him while brushing  it off as if it was nothing. He asked me the same question again, but this time the tone was more aggressive.

Long story short, he locks the room door and proceeds to start trying to choke me. Somehow I got from under his grip and tried to grab my keys and leave. He chased me and threw me on the bed face first. At this point I didn’t know if I was going to get raped, live, or die. Never in a million years could I imagine myself in a situation like this since I was just having “fun”. I ended up being able to get out of the house but he was still chasing me.


According to   https://ncadv.org/learn-more/statistics
  • 1 in 3 women and 1 in 4 men have behhen victims of [some form of] physical violence by an intimate partner within their lifetime.1

He ended up wrapping my ponytail up in his hand and hitting me with a closed fist on my head couple times. There were a few people outside witnessing this and finally proceeded to get him off of me by putting me in my car with my personal belongings. I was in complete shock while crying and sobbing. The witnesses told me while whispering to not come back.  By the grace of God I had a friend that lived up the street that I went to church with and I was able to stay at her parents for the night.

There’s A LOT more to this story, but my so called fun ended up making me date a guy who was a criminal and a womanizer. This incident lead him to be found by the police because he had a search warrant out for his arrest  for a prior incident. I’m telling this story to make sure that more females wake up to what Domestic Violence truly means. It’s not always within the home and it could happen
to ANYBODY! I survived that one incident, but there are people who live in this turmoil daily! Please watch the story of Leslie Morgan Steiner during her TED Talks Video. Her story is truly amazing and I hope both of these bring insight to such a heavy topic.... Enjoy!



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