Miscarriage

      When I was a child I used to imagine that I was in different places from what my reality was. There was a time that my parents were doing the best they could do to provide for my sister and me, but we can feel the toll it was taking on them. We didn’t have a lot of material things during this time, but my imagination of where I can envision my family and me to have more carried me through my childhood and made it a good one. I read books, created paintings and drawings, and even played outside with my imaginary friend. When we are children our imagination is usually the very thing that we use the most. When we become adults the whole concept of imagination starts to feel unrealistic.

Today I was feeling kind of uninspired and feeling like I neededa little push. By the grace of God my friend text me to look at one of the videos he had posted on his Facebook. Immediately I go to it thinking that it was maybe going to be something to make me laugh. Boy was I wrong; it was a message that changed my life within minutes. The person in the video was talking about using our imagination like we did when we were a child in the upcoming year of 2017. He started stating that our imagination is a gift that God has given us in order to be successful. 

“Imagination is more important than knowledge. Knowledge is limited. Imagination encircles the world.” – Albert Einstein

The message in the video started to have me think about how the world can make us lose the dream that was put inside of us as a child. We end up losing our most powerful childlike ability which is to imagine and create our own reality. The creative adult is the child that survived the miscarriage. We reach back to that childlike imagination and bring it to the present. We have the ability to tap into our imaginations and create a product, place, or thing that would be beneficial not only to us, but to others as well. We have to ask God to restore our imagination and ignite our visions again. 

My son likes to play with dinosaurs and whatever he is visualizing with his imagination, he moves the dinosaurs in the physical to respond to those things that he has envisioned. He is creating a reality for his dinosaurs that started with his imagination. I realized that I have to start taking steps towards what is unseen, ordering my footsteps in the physical. Action is what creates the reality that we imagine ourselves in. My actions have to speak louder than my words and also louder than my imagination.

“Where there is no vision, there is no hope.” – George Washington Carver

With my experience in network marketing, the company I was with used to teach us to imagine us hitting a certain goal, or signing up a certain amount of people. I saw firsthand of how it could work for a person and how it couldn’t. Some people would take their imagination and run with it. Others like me would be really confused and not sure if what they are imagining could come to reality. We cannot allow fear to take over what we imagine for our lives. Fear is an emotion of the devil and he wants us to feel this way in order to miscarry our dreams. It is okay to want better for our reality and for our lives in general. The world is not set up to help you meet your destiny, its set up to make you feel it could NEVER happen. Start to IMAGINE and get to CREATING!!!

“Imagination is the beginning of creation. You imagine what you desire, you will what you imagine and at last you create what you will.” – George Bernard Shaw

Angry Black Woman

“I will not have my life narrowed down. I will not bow down to somebody else’s whim or to someone else’s ignorance.” – bell hooks

I was listening to an interview on the Breakfast Club with the music producer Pharrell Williams. If you are not familiar with whom he is, he made one of the best songs ever called Happy. He recently helped produced a movie called Hidden Figures that is based on the untold story of Katherine G. Johnson, Dorothy Vaughan, and Mary Jackson. The three women were valuable assets to the launching of astronaut John Glenn into orbit. If they were not part of this mission John Glenn wouldn’t have made it to the moon. They were all intelligent women and changed the course of how America and other countries view women today, especially black women.

I’m really excited about seeing this movie and I feel it is time for stories like these to be told on a platform for everyone to see.  I’m also excited that black women are being represented in a way where we don’t have to have all of our clothes off or have to perform a song. Nothing wrong with these representations, well maybe one, but to be honest I am bored with how I and other women in my culture are viewed and mostly represented. We tend to sometimes have to take the good with the bad.  There have been some winning moves that have transpired by black women such as the new series Insecure created and co-written by Issa Rae that has had major success on a major cable network which is well, pretty MAJOR.

The interview got me to thinking about how great it is for me to be a black woman today. You see my journey as a black woman in America has had its ups and downs, but I always have found within myself to love my looks, skin color, hair etc. no matter what. There have been times where people asked the infamous question of what am I? I tend to give them a blank look at first and then I proceed to tell them I’m black. Then they proceed to tell me that they didn’t mean any harm by it, I just have beautiful features and blah blah blah. This post is not to bash other cultures, but it is all personal experience.  In a way it makes me feel like strange fruit because people admire it, but don’t really want to know what the taste is because of how it looks. 

"Defining myself, as opposed to being defined by other, is one of the most difficult challenges I face.” – Carol Moseley-Braun

I feel that black women are some of the most misunderstood women because there are so many layers and elements that come with us. There are so many personalities and looks as well as skills we multitask flawlessly. Even with all of these great things that I as well as other can bring to the table, I still feel a slight side eye that will always take place amongst my peers. There’s always an extra effort that will have to be put into my greeting with others, or my assignment that’s maybe due for work. We are either very intelligent or really ghetto with no in between. There are certain feelings and topics that society has made us feel we have to hide or just not talk about at all.

The song Don’t Touch My Hair by Solange was so liberating for me because sometimes people don’t really understand it’s annoying when someone wants to touch your hair. When you feel it’s a normal hairstyle for you, but the person makes a big deal of it. Don’t get me wrong there is nothing wrong with compliments and sometimes I liked to be acknowledged for being different. At the same time the emphasis put on certain things that make me the woman I am are a little bit too much. I have learned to build a thick skin, be more confident, and not take these things too personal.

All of this has made me realize I wouldn’t change my ethnicity for any other one in the world. I find pride in being a black woman no matter how we may be represented in television, movies, music, etc. I don’t have to identify myself as someone else’s opinion because I know what I bring to the table. I am beautiful, intelligent, gentle, kind, sweet, funny, and way more. No color makes me less or more than anyone else. 

If you are a black woman reading this blog post, I hope you found some truth in this. Us black women don’t have to be hidden figures like the women were in the movie. We can shine our lights so bright that they won’t have a choice, but to put us at the forefront like everyone else. Thank God that I have this creative space to invite you in and help you get a better understanding of me, a black woman. Go see and support the movie Hidden Figures when it comes out!!!!

“Sometimes, I feel discriminated against, but it does not make me angry. It merely astonishes me. How can any deny themselves the pleasure of my company? It’s beyond me.” – Zora Neale Hurston

I HATE College

Once I graduated high school  I felt free and was glad that it was over. While everyone was excited for the next chapter in their lives which mostly consisted of college, I was one of the few true that thought about other things. Did I really need to go to college to figure out what my destiny was? Did I really have to go back to sit in a classroom for a four extra years just to receive a paper? I really admire the people who have completed their college degree successfully and I commend their hard work. For me on the other hand, college never has fit within my life no matter how hard I tried. At least not yet.......

I graduated when I was 17 years old, I was really young and I didn't know what I wanted to do. I didn't feel as if I wanted to waste my parents money when I really didn't have a career in mind.That's when  I started community college to save money, with the hopes of being a journalist while all my other friends moved away to other universities that were pretty well known. I picked mass communications as a study because I thought it would be the best degree to use my creativity. It was great in the beginning, but soon I started to become extremely bored. The routine was getting to me and I wasn't and still am not a routine person.

In high school I took Art classes all the way up to the advanced one which you could only get in if you were really good at it. Those were the only classes I took serious in high school when I was there. I wanted to have a career in art, but I allowed people to talk me out of it. There were people who told me that there's no money in it. Being young I took it to heart and pretty much ended my whole art career dreams after I graduated. 

All of the sudden I had this bright idea that I was going to move away to North Carolina to start working and that's exactly what I did. You see, I wanted a fresh start like all of my other friends were getting. While this was one of the most not so smart moves I could've made in my life, it was one of the best life lessons I ever learned. I moved down there with the hopes of going to go to North Carolina A&T University for journalism, get a job, get an apartment, and life would be great. 

The move turned out to be the total opposite to say the least. I wasn't able to get into to school, I had a temporary job that lasted me only 3 months, and I could barely afford my car let alone my rent. Your girl was hurting out there and needed to make an executive decision to leave. I ended up having to move back to Virginia with my parents and the harsh reality that my plan had failed. I realized only recently that it failed because I went the opposite direction of what God had set up for me in the first place.

 I ended getting what you call a good job and going back to school online for business. I picked business because I always wanted my own business but didn't know exactly what type of business. I always knew I was destined to be somebody and do something, but I really didn't take the time to seek God first. Seeking God first is such a true experience because he will guide, direct, and make a path for you. After taking a couple semesters of online classes for business I found myself bored again. In a routine that didn't intrigue me or challenge my mind. Instead of learning about business I just wanted to start one and get it over with. I eventually stopped my classes and found myself feeling like a failure again. 

One day I asked God what did he have for me because I feel like a failure for not wanting to go to college, also because I didn't have a degree like everyone else. Not too long after that I stumbled accross a personality test online that I decided to take. My results for a career was every type of career that had to do with being artistic and creative. Then shortly after that I was invited to a sip and paint party by a friend and I haven't put down a Paint brush since. Something sparked inside of me that night, my love of art had came back stronger than ever since high school. That one night changed my life and it had nothing to do with college. 

After that night I learned that there was a career in Art. I ended up having my first art show, teaching Paint classes, and selling some of my creations. All of the things that people told me about art in a negative way was turning into a positive. I was able to see how powerful God's plan was for my life. He showed me that I didn't have to rely on college to make me somebody or make me feel liberated. It was a plan that was uniquely and wonderfully made just for me and I felt really special. So special that I stopped thinking about trying to put myself in space that I didn't fit. There were so many other things that I was trying to go to school for and God just told me to stop and use my gifts he placed inside of me.

The point of this blog post is not to discourage people from going to college, but really seek God on what he has for your life. You may be surprised that it is the total opposite of what society will make you think and feel. I was trying to fit myself in a box that wasn't for me and it showed through the many failures that took place. Sometimes God will put you through his college courses for you to learn what you have to bring to the world. Today I want you to think about where your at in your life at the moment. Are you living life according to others? Or are you living life according to your true self?

Pimping ain't easy.....

Is the Church my Pimp?

When I wake up on Payday my first initial thought is not to give my money to the church, but what bills do I have to pay. I mean why should I give my hard earned money to the church? So the Pastor and can live better than me and show off his or her nice clothes and fancy cars? Are there other bills of the church that they are not telling us about, to where they keep preaching on tithes and offering In order to make us feel guilty about it? Or maybe, just maybe my Pastor may drop the bomb on us that he needs a private jet or plane to get back and forth for his mission trips that only he and couple other people are allowed to go in. I just don’t want to give my cold hearted cash when I don’t understand the concept in the first place…..

And my God will meet all your needs according to his glorious riches in Christ Jesus – Philippians 4:19

It took me a while to BELIEVE the scripture quoted above because I didn’t feel as if God was blessing me for what I was sewing aka what I was giving from my funds. When I was a kid I remember sitting in church and when it was time for tithes and offering there were some adults that started rejoicing and then there were some adults that had this ill look and feeling come over them. I would wonder why there was such a split reaction amongst the humans I was around. As I grew older the same reaction was still came from my fellow colleagues.

Tithes and offering has had a bad rap sheet when it comes to the media. There have been federal investigations done with pastors such as Joyce Meyer, Creflo Dollar, and Eddie Long to just name a few. These types of stories hinder the minds of the world to think that all churches are operating in a suspect manor. This is understandable because if you are not aware of or study what tithing and offering is. You will continue to go off of word of mouth and articles, magazines, etc. Instead of diving head first into the bible and what it teaches about growing your wealth you will think that people are out to get your money.

You are cursed with a curse, For you have robbed Me, Even this whole nation – Malachi 3:9

I want you all to understand that I didn’t take tithing serious until this year. There were times in the past where I would put chump change in here and there, but didn’t make a conscious effort of it. I didn’t feel as if I should because for one I didn’t feel connected, I felt used. I felt used for my money only because I wasn’t being used within the church. Nobody was encouraging for me to volunteer let alone making me aware of what I could do to work within the church. The only time I felt I was being talked to was when it was time to put my tithes and offering in a basket or offering plate. Those people weren’t the people at fault for my actions though so there’s no need to play the blame game.

When I started attending the church I go to now I made a vow to myself,   I was going to make a conscious effort to have my Tithes and Offering on the regular. I wanted to see what would take place if I surrendered and put my trust in God with my finances. What I didn’t realize, was how damaged my heart, mind, and spirit was from years and years of being hurt from the church. My personal experience of tithing wasn’t because I was confused or didn’t have my money. My rebellion of not tithing was stemming from not being used in multiple churches. When I say not being used, I mean that I was over looked by several people for reasons only God knows.

Money won’t create success, the freedom to make it will. – Nelson Mandela

God knew I wouldn’t have been able to handle what he had for my life at that time. He knew that I would need to go through some things and situations in order to know that Tithing and offering is not about me in the first place, but it  is VERY IMPORTANT. When a pimp controls prostitutes he or she is in control of not only their clients, but also what funds they make from such activity. If they do not receive part of their finances there could be serious consequences for the prostitutes. The serious consequences that took place with my finances were almost detrimental to my life and my sense of well-being because I almost lost everything the years before.

I was searching for a way to stay afloat with my bills and money while all along I needed to honor GOD instead of PEOPLE with part of my income. Now I’m not saying that the church is my pimp or anyone else’s, but there was a time where I thought that was the case. I believed serious consequences were going to happen and I was going to get a lightning bolt struck down upon me. There was so much guilt that it turned into me giving more than what I had myself to where I ended up broke. I had put my trust in people instead of hearing what God had to say to me and me only.

Within meditation this year God had spoken to me about being successful. The first tip that he gave me was to give my tithes and offering every time I got paid. I suddenly felt chills when I heard that. Tithes and offering is a form of honoring God. When I started to honor God with my money, things started to happen rapidly. My gifts and talents started to pour out like oil. There was a new freshness and awakening that took place. Whoever is reading this will need to know that if you want to have a positive form of success you have to honor God with EVERYTHING. I’m not perfect, but what I do know is that I have seen the miracles that can take place with you do this consistently.

Take time today to meditate on what you want your life to be and how you would like it to change. Write down what you hear or get a sense of, also write down where you would like to be in life eventually without giving it a time frame. Then when you get to that place you can look back and see that God has been there for you every step of the way. Even with your finances…….

Sex is overrated....

Sex is overrated…

We live in a sex craved society these days that condition people to believe that sex is the very thing that makes relationships “better” or more “stronger” per say. You can find articles in magazines such as the Cosmopolitan, Elle, and even Women’s Health that oozes this illusion of a sexual culture. Good looking males and women model on the covers of the magazines with their unrealistic bodies and smiles. There’s an image of couples that are both laughing and joking out in the park or play fighting in bed which sounds and looks great and totally gets you to connect with what the writer is saying! It makes us feel warm and cozy inside and yearning for what the image may represent to our minds. Well let me start off by telling you, this blog is in no way being written in order to bash or offend anyone. This is all MY personal experience with a little fact from the Bible aka my lifeline.  Now let’s get started!

Titus 1:15 – To the pure, all things are pure; but to those who are defiled and unbelieving nothing is pure, but both their mind and their conscience are defiled.

Just like the Fresh Prince of Bel Air song goes….”Now this is story all about how my life got twist, turned upside down, and I’d like to take a minute just sit right there and I’ll tell you how this sexual culture almost ruined my life.”

Coming from a Christian background and home the topic of sex was NOT talked about or thought about which could be detrimental to any teen girl or boy. No offense to my parents, but growing pains start to take place and becoming a teenager there’s a realization the world has much more to offer than what your parents have taught and told you. I on the other can say that I was the least bit hard headed and was curious to find out on my own things that maybe should’ve been talked about more. From my personal experience it made me want to rebel more instead of following the way the bible teaches.

Let’s face it; everywhere we turn there is some type of reference to the sex.  We have movies, TV shows, music, school books, etc. that all involve sex. We even have commercials that now look like porn. There are shows that my 2 year old son watches that have things that only an adult would understand within them that lead me to writing this blog about this topic specifically. It’s no way we can deny or say that sex is not a part of everything in these times and it is only going to get worst.

1 Corinthians 7:9 - But if they cannot control themselves, they should marry, for it is better to marry than to burn with passion.

The bible teaches us that sex is a very sacred thing amongst the married and that if you are unable to have self-control it is better to marry than to burn with passion (1 Corinthians 7:9) Now when you look at the ending of that scripture you read the “burn with passion” part. Psychologically in my mind there is a deeper meaning to that more than what people may see on the surface. I learned that having multiple sex partners is very dangerous, and you are risking your livelihood every time you lay down with someone. There are not only diseases that you can physically contract, but in a supernaturally in the spirit world you can contract much worst.

I may have dodged being physically burned, but I for sure did not dodge being spiritually burned which I thank GOD every day that he has healed me from all of the burning that had taken place. You see sex for me wasn’t ever something that I wanted to do just because. The images and visuals that I was seeing around in the world made me want to experience what they were having because I didn’t realize there was a void. For instance in movies they make every scene seem as if the people are deeply in love that are in relations with each other. That was far from the truth and I definitely had to snap out of thinking the sex equaled love because of this.

Growing up with an alcoholic father, really lead me down this path that the devil thought was going to take me out. It wasn’t until recently that I learned the love I so called was trying to get from guys through sex was the love I was yearning for from the very first male figure that I was supposed to be in love with…My DAD! My mind was already conditioned because of what society forces down our throat with how sex is supposed to help and incur. I also realized that I was missing the intimacy that I was supposed to have with God, my creator, and original Father. 

My physical father was unable to love me the way that he should because he was unable to fully love himself correctly. There was a struggle to completely connect with him because his feelings about himself stood in the way and ended up making him selfish. He didn’t realize that it was affecting me and my siblings. There seems to be a struggle with many people about the way they look and the way they love themselves first. The world makes you believe that sex is the answer to all of those voids and it is not! Personally it did not fill the voids my heart may have suffered from, but it definitely taught me a valuable lesson about love.

No human can love you like the way God does, he created you, so why would he not love you more than anyone else. God knows everything about you from the gaps in your teeth to the birth marks you may have that nobody else is able to see. Everything that God sets out for the good, including SEX, the devil will turn into something evil and more of a distraction to get your attention off of the REALEST relationship you can ever have! If you don’t know God get to know him fast!  If you don’t know where to start, reach out to someone you know who is a believer that you feel comfortable with and go to coffee, out to eat, or their house to start conversations about who God may be. Have a blessed one and I hope this helps you or someone you may know.

“I have learned that love can grow without sex, and that sex does not always lead to love.” - Anonymous

Learning Self Gains Wealth

Matthew 6:21 – For where your treasure is, there your heart will be also.

There has been a shift that has taken place in the atmosphere when it comes to gaining self-knowledge of us. If you pay close attention you can smell it, feel it, and almost taste it. Now is the season to truly become aware of your gifts also known as talents and bring them forth to the world. But before bringing this to the world there has to be schooling that takes place between you and yourself, and God.  Learning and understanding our creator and who you truly are becomes the keys of unlocking what wealth really means.

Proverbs 10:4 – Lazy hands make for poverty, but diligent hands bring wealth.

Wealth does not happen overnight as in knowing your true self does not happen overnight either. The work being put into gaining a true knowledge of my creator aka GOD has brought an abundance of wealth to my life.  According to the definition in the dictionary, wealth means an abundance of valuable possessions or money. The valuable possessions that God has made me aware of are my gifts and talents. I cannot stress this enough because when God reveals these to you, you will truly understand how he wants to use you in this world. The meaning of your purpose will start to turn the darkness around into light.

What we have to understand is that we are on this earth in order to bring light! This statement can be easier said than done because of what comes with bringing light to the world. The forces of evil will attack you more than ever when you are trying to pull back the blanket off of what is underneath. Underneath the blanket is what the enemy does not want people to see because it can turn their lives back to their creator. The enemy does not want us seeking any type of instructions from God, Jesus, and the Holy Spirit in order for us to reach what we have within us. Don’t think for a second that I am not getting attacked while I am typing this to bring to others.

“When you learn how much you’re worth, you’ll stop giving people discounts.” – Anonymous

It takes time and patience to get to the point of knowing that you are worth more than others opinions. I understand that this blog post will not be for everyone, but it will be for more than enough. Once you consume the attitude that you are already wealthy with what you already have, you will be able to hold your head high and stop selling yourself short. There are going to be people that have such a low opinion of you that you have to learn to IGNORE and IGNITE the power of the God within you and get high. So whoever is reading this…..the time is NOW! GET UP, GET OUT, AND DO SOMETHING!

Melanin

Melanin.

Is my skin not good enough for you?
Is my black almost too blue?
Is what your feeling really true?
I can't change myself to be something society wants.
Nor can I change what people have said to me in order to taunt.
My blood boils when I get disrespected.
But in reality I guess you can say that's what should be expected.
This country is filled with bitter and disgust.
With a bunch of false relationships and hearts filled with lust.
What I see in the mirror is a beautiful brown woman.
With a whole lot of sass and zen.
Oh yea and by the way, I stand tall and proud when I say my name is Kristen.
But off of that let's get back to my skin.
Buttery brown, mixed with sugar.
Looks so sweet that I'll even make a burglar put down his trigger.
Nothing will ever change the way I feel about myself.
All the negativity thrown at me will be put on a shelf.
I hope to see you around one day.
But next time think before you speak when you come my way.

Kristen Nicole

Monday Blues....😩

Monday Blues……..

Let’s face it, I have a love and hate relationship with Monday’s. On Monday’s we are all supposed to feel empowered because it is a fresh week! Today I completely feel the opposite of this being that I am feeling uninspired and like I need a vacation. Or maybe it is because I did not have my morning coffee like usual? Either way I wish I was able to turn the clock back and do this day all over again, but then I think about how tomorrow will be a totally different day with different emotions. With that being said here are some things I do in order to make my day feel better as it goes on. 

Affirm your day!

In the morning I have to affirm my day as much as possible and as much as I need. When this is done right in the morning I can shake off the negativity or unpleasant emotions that may arise throughout your day. I usually keep a notebook full of different quotes, sayings, and notes from sermons that I can look over and grab any inspiration and motivation I need in order to push through the day.

Isaiah 40:31 “Because I place my hope in the Lord my strength is renewed.”

Pray!

Prayer changes the course of your life! Learning to pray in the morning when I wake up has been a process for me. I sometimes forget that it needs to be done and start thinking about everything else the day may consist of. I’ve learned that putting everything else before prayer is not such a smart decision. Perhaps I may have had to go through a couple experiences that could’ve been handled differently if I did pray. I like to think of prayer as my armor to keep myself, family, and friends that I have prayed for from harm and danger.

2 Chronicles 16:11 “Look to the LORD and his strength; seek his face always.”

Invest in a Devotional Book……

The two devotional books I currently read from every morning are The Confident Woman Devotional written by Joyce Meyer and Jesus Calling written by Sarah Young. These both give me so much life in the morning and they both give confirmation to things I may be going through in my life. I like to call them my guidelines more than my devotionals because they really do keep me grounded and rooted in my calling and what my purpose is for my life. 

Tomorrow is a New Day!

I always remember that I have tomorrow to start over and start new, it will not always have to be on a Monday. I also have to keep in mind to not be so down on myself to the point where we are anxious for another day to start. The bible states in Philippians 4:6 “Be careful for nothing; but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known unto God.” We can only worry about the day that we have at hand.

The tips above are things I try to do on a daily basis. It is okay if you don’t want to choose all of them. Just know that if there is something else you think of that may help you then do it! I hope this helps someone who may be reading this….Have a blessed Monday!

Reverse Psychology

Be aware of the reverse psychology that the enemy tries to play on our minds. 

There was a dream I had about a particular person that did not like me very well. This person had wrote a book about why they didn't like me and their perspective of me. There were several personal pictures in the book of myself and others surrounded by me as if we were all being followed. As I was reading this  in the book store I felt betrayed and I had become angry. When it came time to confront the person they turned from human to something evil.

I felt  the Lord was shedding light  not only on that person, but myself as well. You see that was a sign that because this person didn't like me I had emotions of fear, insecurities, worry, and stress. It was a setup for the enemy to derail These were emotions that were weighing me down to where I was at a stand still in my life. They had taken control of my mind and I allowed them to mske decisions for me from my health to my education.

The enemy will place fear into our mind first and then it will start to trickle down to the important parts of the body that we need to put action to our dreams. Whether it's writing a book, planning events, or brainstorming ideas, we want to make sure our mind is clear of what the enemy wants it to be consumed by. If the enemy can cripple our minds first it will shut down everything else within our body and ends up making us stuck in the same place or places in our lives.

When a person is considered brain dead nothing within their bodies are working properly and they are equivalent to a vegetable. Our brains are valuable to our bodies, if we are brain dead we cannot function. We have to realize that our mind is the most critical part of what our purpose is on earth. If our mind is wrapped in fear and other toxic emotions our body will never get to the point of leaving our comfort zones. We continue to hold back on our gifts and what life God has for us to live. I look at it as another form of being brain dead.

We are not the ones to determine what God has placed us on the earth for, only HE can. The fact that this person had placed so many emotions within me was surprising. But God also allowed me to see  that it wasn't the person doing this, it was Satan working through this person in order to accomplish his plan. There are going to be people that come in our paths that are working specifically for the enemy. These people may not even be aware of this, but if you are aware of what's going on pray that enemy's plan will cease in your life as well as the person that the enemy is using life as well.

Mindset for Success

How do you define success? Do you think of success as having a lot of money? Maybe receiving a promotion that you've been trying to get for some time now? Or maybe having a family that you've always dreamed of? Even though all of these are great to have, success really doesn't happen until you change your MINDSET to be a winner. Below I am going to break down a few things that I have learned on the journey to "success".

1. Don't just go to church, learn to have a real relationship with God.

Going  to church is the least that we can do for God, but having a real relationship with God is when you'll get the instructions you need to gain success and life begins. When God gives you instructions to do things they're not just instructions to get you to have money. They are practically your guideline for your life as a whole.

2. Pay attention to what voice your listening to.

If you are always making decisions out of doubt and fear then you are not listening to the right voice. You are listening to the Devil himself. Everyday that you wake up God has and agenda for you and the Devil most certainly has an agenda for you. It is his job to get you off course and try to deceive you into making decisions that look good on the surface but underneath has a whole lot of problems and consequences that come with those choices.

3. Always put your best foot forward.

Whatever you do in life do it to the best ability because it teaches discipline for success. It can be very easy to become lazy and procrascinate until last minute. Last minute shouldn't be the way, you or I operate within this thing called life. Intentionally plan to do things and start using a calendar to make sure you can keep up with the plans you have. (I'm still practicing this part haha)

4. Love yourself.

You have to love yourself enough to encourage yourself. Learn how to talk to yourself in the mirror, in the car, ANYWHERE! Hug yourself, tell yourself that you love you, and tell yourself that you are beautiful every chance you get.  Learn yourself so that you know exactly what you want out of life. Once this occurs no one will be able to persuade decisions you have to make soley for yourself. God created you to be a leader not a follower.

5. You will not have a lot of friends when your on the right path.

Last, but not least you are not going to have a lot of friends when you are on the right path that God has you on. If you have a lot of friends you should be worried. I only say worried because if these "friends" aren't around when you are down and around only when you are up you should cut it quick. There are people that will be drawn to your light in the correct way, and also drawn to your light in the wrong way. Watch who you surround yourself with because that's what you will eventually become.

All of the tips above are only coming from true experience that I've had on my own journey that I wanted to share with you. There are things that  I am still trying to get down to a science on the list, but we are not perfect and never will be. The first step is to acknowledge what needs to be fixed and then give it to God. The road to success is a different journey for everyone which only means that your journey is ONLY YOUR JOURNEY. Isn't that an exciting thing to know!


"Try not to become a person of success, but rather try to become a person of value." -- Albert Einstein

Stay in your lane.

Psalms 119:1 - 1 Blessed are those whose ways are blameless, who walk according to the law of the LORD

God gave me a dream a long time ago about something that I was trying to do as a career. I thank him for giving me that dream because I would've went off track of the course that he has me on. Within the dream I was driving on a nice paved road when I decided to turn off onto a dirt road. It was sunny until I turned down that road and all of the sudden it started storming with the winds blowing and trees falling. I backed up off the road just before a tree hit my car and proceeded to get back on the paved road where the sun came back out again.

I feel this was God's way of telling me to stay in my lane and stop trying to put myself in a career that will put me "in a box". He showed me that I'm not an "in the box" person and that my gifts would take me far in the world if I just learn to trust in him. I believe there comes a point in everyone's life where they may not know what they want to do or they fall out of excitement about the path that they're on and maybe start doing other things outside of the lane God has them in.

You cannot be a follower in life because God made you to do a specific job or jobs for him that only he gave to you. He made everyone to be leaders in their own unique way. Look at how creative God is, when you look around you see people of all colors, shapes, and sizes. Why would you think that he didn't create you to do something out of the ordinary, something BIG, something EXTRORDANARY!!!

Now is the time to start thinking of ourselves the way that God sees us. Pay attention to what you follow and always remember to STAY IN YOUR LANE!

Lately.....

Hi Everyone! I just wanted to let you know what I have been up to lately! There is a true passion that I have found in Art again and I have been painting a lot lately. Most of the paintings I have been doing just to continue to practice and they have been getting a lot of attention. Below I will be posting pictures of various paintings that I have done. I will be blogging still because this is also something that I'm just as passionate about. See you soon!!

Selfie vs. Self Worth

Have you ever wanted to meet someone off of their selfie alone?

We are a generation where taking pictures of ourselves sometimes three or four times a day is normal. You have to wonder do people really value themselves as much as they are making us believe. We are a self-absorbed culture that can’t go without showing or speaking what our next moves may be. Recently I have cut back on taking selfies because honestly I felt like it was getting out of hand. I had to ask myself am I taking selfies in order to get recognition or am I taking them to help myself believe that I am truly beautiful.  Are these likes and comments making me feel more validated and better about myself? I wanted to cut all the noise out and help myself get a better understanding of wellllll myself!

I started to get addicted to this whole process of taking a picture making it look nice aka filters and then posting it to see how many likes or comments I can get within a couple minutes to an hour. Then sometimes it even started to be a way that I can have others say and tell me that I am beautiful on a day where I didn’t really feel it as much. I had to stop and think am I depending on these likes and comments in order to live life to the fullest? I told myself Oh no! Get it together!  Psychology it started to become more of a competition with myself and how I can top a selfie that I’ve done before. I didn’t want selfies to control my life anymore.

“Beauty begins the moment you decide to be yourself” – Coco Chanel"

Every now and then I see these selfies with OUTSTANDING quotes on them, but I wonder does the person really feel that way behind the camera and the filters. Majority of the time they probably do and then maybe some don’t, but thought it was fitting for the actual picture. Does the smile that the person have in the picture helping them to stop from crying? As a woman or a male we have to be able to tell ourselves that we are beautiful without posting a ton of pictures to remind ourselves of something we should already know. 

There is a time and place when pictures are important, but are a ton of selfies really that important to where you have no storage on your phone? For me personally no, and on this new journey I am learning to declutter unnecessary things within my life. Selfies are on the list of many things because I am learning to love myself without looking at myself through a picture. Now this is not a blog to knock anyone that loves to take pictures, but this is where God has me right now.  The fewer pictures I take the more time I have to use the gifts that that God gave me. Being beautiful comes from within, and the more you work on your inward the more the shine will come outward. Signing off now, but remember you are beautiful!

“3 Your beauty should not come from outward adornment, such as elaborate hairstyles and the wearing of gold jewelry or fine clothes.  

4 Rather, it should be that of your inner self, the unfading beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is of great worth in God’s sight.” 1 Peter 3:3-4 NIV

​

Allow me to reintroduce myself!!!!

Hello everyone! My name is Kristen, but most people know me as Nikki. I wanted to introduce myself briefly so you know who exactly is behind these blog posts. God is my everything and I have decided to enlighten people on situations that I may have gone through or situations that happen daily and blog about it. I know there is someone out there that can relate to various things I may posts. You won't find a the same things being said on here all of the time so you won't ever get bored. Thank you for reading (if you are) and I appreciate the love and support. I hope this blog changes your view of life one post at a time. God bless and one love. 

Trusting the Enemy

I was watching an interview and the person being interviewed proceeded to talk about how we tend to trust our enemies more than trusting what should be right. The discussion started to make me think about how true that statement was. 

Why we are quick to trust what is going against us first before we trust what is for us? 

Definition Enemy:

• The definition of enemy means a person who is actively opposed or hostile to someone or something.

• A hostile nation or its armed forces or citizens,especially in time of war.

• A thing that harms or weakens something else.

It is within our human nature to despise the enemy, but also trust them at the same time. Enemies can be within your family, friends, church and maybe sometimes the person who you may be in a relationship with. There is always a deceiver when it comes to recognizing the enemy because our society glorifies the enemy and makes it look like he, she, or it is the right way to choose.

In my life there has been decisions I made in which I thought was the easiest decision for me at the time, but then turned out to have many consequences that came after the fact. There are many times that I have had enemies in the form of everything that you can think of, but I put my trust into them and didn’t realize how it was going to strip me of my character and sanity.

Definition of Trust

• Firm belief in the reliability, truth, ability, or strength of someone or something. “relations have to be built on trust”

• Confidence placed in a person by making that person the nominal owner of property to be held or used for the benefit of one or more others. 

You see how it says in the first part of the definition that “relations have to be built on trust”? Why would we want to build a relationship of trust with an enemy? It’s almost like us giving our money to a person who robs banks and trusting them to give us all the money back. 

When you put your trust into the enemy and start to model your life off of the choices regarding so, it will feel good at first. All of the sudden one day you don’t feel like yourself and start to feel ill. Slowly you’re emotional, mental, and physical state will start to break down and lead you to feel as if you are nothing.

When we eat organic food such as fruits and vegetables our bodies reacts in a positive manner because the food is not working against our body, but for our body. When we partake in eating processed foods our bodies do not react as well because those types of foods are working against our bodies. Our body is aware that we are not supposed to be eating such things, but once we continue our body becomes immune to it, while slowly breaking down at the same time. The same scenario goes for exercise because we know our body needs it, but we would rather watch TV on the couch and drain our brain with toxic television shows because it’s easier. 

“The thief does not come to except to steal, and to kill, and to destroy. I have come that they may have life, and that they may have it more abundantly.” John 10:10 

The enemy does not always make himself/herself known, and it most certainly does not make what consequences you are bringing to yourself be known. The enemy can sometimes be right inside of you without you recognizing the damage being done. It is a choice to make on whether you will start to pay attention to who you are trusting and who you should not. Stop trusting the enemy and start fighting the enemy away from your heart, mind, and body.

Reservations

Why do I not make reservations for things in my life that are good for me, when I shouldn't be having reservations about things that could be detrimental to my future? Hi! My name is Kristen and you may also know me by Nikki. I tend to have reservations for a lot of things that can be a benefit to my future, but I really don't mean to! No really, I don't even notice that I am doing this half of the time.

Have you ever asked yourself why you may be cautious about different things when God has spoken loud and clear to you already. He has told you that there is something he wants you to do, but you ignore every sign and confirmation that he sends your way! Yet when something isn't maybe the best decision you tend to dive into those situations faster. Yes this is me alllllll the time.

Picture this scenario......you called and made reservations for a restaurant for you and a date. You show up before your date gets there so you can get the table on time. You get to the table and you start patiently waiting for him/her to arrive. You start to realize time has gone by and there is no site of your date. Finally you see your date walking into the restaurant, but they decide to go to the bathroom first before they come to the table. Then you see them come out of the bathroom and go to talk to someone else and your waiving trying to get their attention, but they're not seeing you. So you wait as long as you possibly can while your getting annoyed at the same time. Wouldn't it be an awful feeling if your date doesn't even realize you are there, but you've taken the time to make reservations and took time out to sit and wait for them!

Imagine God feeling that way about us? 
He's sitting waiting for us to come to the table and he's trying to get our attention, but we ignore him because we want to make pit stops and everything else before get to him. If I'm sitting and waiting for someone for a long time eventually I would leave and never want to speak to that person again. The good part about this is that God is going to continue to wait for us to recognize that he's there.

 He's going to constantly send signs and wonders our way until he gets our attention, but hopefully it's not too late. God is waiting for you to sit at the table with him so he can go over  his blueprint he has for your life, but he's only going to sit there as long as you want him to.  Sometimes we are waiting for the wrong situations to change when we are missing out on what God is really trying to tell us. Don't lose time making reservations for the wrong things and not making reservations for the right things in your life. Once the right reservations are made everything will come on time and will meet you right where you are at.